5 Funny Stories About Pens

The Pen In The Cradle

There was once a baby named Sally that was only one year old. She did not even know how to speak. Her mother came to wake her one morning and found poems in her crib. Clutched in one hand was a bright blue pen, as if Sally had written this herself. Amazed, the woman ran to get her husband who was home for the weekend, and showed him what Sally had done. Thinking they had a prodigy on their hands, they called the local news and did multiple reports about their amazing child. Sadly, when Sally try to reproduce the poetry she had written, all that she could write were scribbles. Suddenly from the kitchen, their daughter Marcia walked in, unaware that reporters were filming the story. “Mom?”, Marsha said, completely oblivious to the news cameras that were rolling. She said, “Have you seen my poetry assignment? I think I lost it in Sally’s room.”

From NASA With Love

Astronauts in space soon realized that ballpoint pens would not work because there was no gravity. NASA had started to work on the problem. Spending billions of dollars, they created a revolutionary new pen that would not only write in zero gravity, but underwater too. They also improved the pen making it possible for it to write on any surface, and that could also function at extremely cold temperatures that are experienced in space. Meanwhile, the Russians responded to the challenge by simply providing their cosmonauts with a handful of pencils.

Choosing The Right Pen

One day a woman asked her husband if he could get her a pen. Looking confused for a moment, he told her he would be right back. Hours went by and she could hear the commotion outside. Ignoring the noise, she continued getting things done around the house. Finally, deciding that she should probably find a pen for herself, she started rummaging through all of the drawers and cupboards in their home. Finally her husband comes running to the door, filthy from head to toe, with a look of triumph in his eyes. “It’s done!”, he exclaims, and grabs her arm, dragging her outside. “I hope this is okay.”, he said, pointing to something in the yard. “I couldn’t find one, so I decided to make one just for you honey.” he said, unable to control his excitement. In the middle of the yard was a pig pen that he had just made. “I didn’t know that you wanted to raise any pigs.” the man said with a tone of confusion. “Hopefully, this is what you wanted!”

The Pen And The Pencil

There was once a pen and a pencil that were very good friends. They did everything together. They went on walks, traveled around the world, and even had similar friends. One day the pen said to the pencil on their way to a party, “We’re going to be late. Get the lead out!”. The pencil responded, “I have an inkling that you are in a hurry.” The pen responded, “Of course I am in a hurry. The clock is clicking!”

Confucius And The Pen

One of the greatest philosophers in all of China was a man by the name of Confucius, known for writing stories that would end with some type of moral.

One day Confucius was writing down his latest information with a brand-new pen that Marco Polo the Explorer had given him. For some reason, he always felt inspired when he wrote with this pen, and one day asked out loud why that was seeking an answer from the universe.

“It’s all about me”, said then pen, suddenly springing to life, catching the great philosopher offguard. At first, he thought he was dreaming, but then realized that he had been given a magical pen.

“So you are the reason I am so inspired lately, little pen.” said Confucius, marveling at the little magical writing implement.

“Of course”, said the pen. “How else could you have written any of that without me.”

Thinking for a moment, Confucius stated, “But is it not I, little pen, that controls you, causing you to write the words that come to my mind?”

“Of course not!” retorted the little pen. “It is I who has written everything for you, and therefore, I am the source of your inspiration.”

Confucius smiled for a moment, smirking mischievously, and said to the pen, “Which is mightier, the pen or the sword?”

The little pen proudly stated, “Why the pen, foolish philosopher. With my words, I can change the destiny of man. With my ideas, I can make you great. With my ink, I will cause Kings to rule the world.”

“Really?” said Confucius, and with the reflexes of a cat, wielded a broadsword beneath the table down on the unsuspecting pen, shattering it into thousands of pieces.

What is the moral of the story? Never bring a pen to a sword fight (but maybe a set of gel pens would do the trick)!

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